Emmie Rolland #4

Later, in Latin class, I almost wept again, but for an entirely different reason. In this class, I had to sit in the middle, which is not as good as the back, but far better than smack dab in the front. In any case, it wasn’t much better because I wasn’t allowed to sit with any of my friends. No, I had to sit beside Ginger Rogers and her best friend, Cally Pritchard. She was almost worst than Ginger Rogers. Well, except that Cally didn’t have ringlets in her bangs. She did, however, have glasses so thick they looked like she was wearing glass bottles over her eyes. The effect was that she looked like an enlarged insect.
Anyway, we were sitting in Latin class, reading up about Roman life in a text book called Roman Life. Historians are really imaginative. Anyhow, the text book was dull as sin, which doesn’t really make sense to me, because you’d think sin would be interesting at the very least. This sin, however, was definitely not interesting. The author, Mary Johnston, was rambling on for ages about togas, couches, and grain grinding. It was so boring I thought I would have to stab myself in the ear with a mechanical pencil to stop the endless boredom. Plus, Mary Johnston was the biggest prude imaginable. She actually said that no “respectable” woman would use co-ed baths. Also, Mary said that there were drinking parties with dancing girls for young men with “questionable” interests. On top of that, the book was so old, Mary used the phrase “gay and luxurious life” and meant happy.
Fortunately, to prevent myself from having to actually stab myself in the ear with a pencil, my friends sent me amusing notes. Giselle sent me this note.
What was the real reason Cassius and Brutus killed Caesar?
I turned back to her and shrugged. She sent me another note with the answer.
He was reading this book and they wanted to save him from total and complete boredom. Who can write this much about couches? Honestly, surely one of her friends must’ve whacked her in the back of the head with her own book and told her to stop rambling. Good Lord.
At the same time, Poppy had sent me a note asking for me to pick a colour and two numbers. I had written back my response and now when I looked over at her, I realized that she had made a cootie catcher. A little while later, she sent me my results.
You’re going to marry a man, who is really a woman, and, by the time you find out that he’s actually a woman, you’ll be a gimp and will stay with her just because no one else will want you.
My friends are such kind people. Anyway, I looked back over in Poppy’s direction, to give her a look after my excellent prediction, and saw that she was talking to Piper and Libby. They got to sit together because the class was arranged in alphabetical order. I wasn’t far from them, but Ginger and Cally were sitting between us, so it’s not like I could talk to them or anything. But that’s beside the point. The point is that I could see Libby fairly well from where I was sitting and I noticed that she was in fact wearing false eyelashes. I have no idea how she managed to get away with that without any of the teachers flogging her or something.
A few minutes later, we were still reading Roman Life, but now we were doing it individually, while answering questions on the material. Or at least that’s what we were supposed to be doing. I was waiting for Natasha to finish writing her answers so that I could copy them. While I was waiting, however, I was super bored so I started listening to Cally and Ginger’s conversation. They were whispering so I really had to strain to hear them. Some people are so inconsiderate. Anyway, I quickly grew tired of eavesdropping, too, although, because they were talking about math. That was almost worst than reading Mary Johnston’s endless ramblings on Roman grain. Good Lord.